Welcome to the crotch kicking department

(in progress Charlie)

Lyrics: Tim Chmielewski

Album: Bad Coelacanth

I went up to Germaine Greer, slapped her and said "where's my dinner?"
I took my vegan girlfriend to an all your can eat steakhouse.
I tried to grab the dancers tits at a local strip club.
How can I get my crotch kicked easier?
I don't want to go to much trouble.
Or join the USA two man luge team.

Chorus:

Welcome to the crotch kicking department!
We make all your dreams come true!
Welcome to the crotch kicking department!
We'll make your face turn blue!
Welcome to the crotch kicking department!
We'll help you learn kung fu!

Some people there are wearing protective cups.
Others wear protective tea-sets.
But where's the fun in that?
I want to be kicked good and hard!

Chorus

Why do I want to be kicked in the crotch?
My voice has dropped and I don't want to lose my spot in the Vienna Boys Choir.
Even though I could get testicular cancer.
I want to go on with my singing career.

Chorus

Welcome to the crotch kicking department!
We make all your dreams come true...