Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth

(MP3 Files)
Lyrics: Casey B - from a dream by Gokmop the Irrefrangible
Arrangements:
  • version 1: Casey B
  • version 2, version 3: jwgh
  • Nose flute on version 3: Jeremy Impson
  • Album: Needs More Wanger

    Gokmop the Irrefrangible (aka John D Salt) wrote in April 2003:

    I had an odder-than-usual dream last night.
    It involved a parlour-game, which I should think would need quite a large and well-furnished parlour for the game to work successfully.
    The game is called "Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth". It needs numerous players of all sexes to play it, and somebody called Mrs. Farnsworth, who carries a plate of cakes and distributes them among the party.
    The object of the game is for pairs of players to secretly have sex with each other without being noticed, and then shout "pumpkin!" before Mrs. Farnsworth can offer them a cake.
    It all seemed much less impractical in my dream than it does now.
    I expect some bloody Freudian will come along with their psychoanalysis hat on in a minute and claim that dreaming about secret sex acts in a well-furnished parlour is symbolical of some kind of repressed fascination with railway engines, or something.

    This inspired Casey B to write some lyrics based on the dream. And there things sat until mid-July 2003, at which time (unbeknownst to each other) Casey B and jwgh each recorded an interpretation of the lyrics:

    The London Share House Mix, Casey's version, which has sort of a mellow punkish flavor, and The English Country Garden Mix, jwgh's version, which is more folkish and angsty (because, jwgh explains, "I am JUST NOT THAT PUNK.")

    A week later jwgh assembled another version which has the same melody and structure as his first version. This new version incorporated some nose flute samples that Jeremy D. Impson contributed to the Interrobang Cartel Cause and became known as:

    The Spaghetti West End Mix (so dubbed by Casey B because of the strange backing vocals which reminded him of the soundtrack to "The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly" and other spaghetti westerns).

    All three recordings were included in Interrobang Cartel's first album, Needs More Wanger.

    Lyrics

    (to be sung/shouted in bog-English)

    Meet me by the bookshelf
    at the south end of the room
    Slip behind the sofa
    in the early evening gloom
    Tongue my genitalia,
    make me shudder, make me shake:
    Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth!
    I now require a cake.
    We might just sit together
    drinking tea and making time:
    Such delightful weather!
    Why, the company's sublime!
    Can you lean a little that way?
    If you just... oh yes... that's nice...
    Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth!
    I need a second slice.
    I'll sneak behind my brother
    As he gazes at the lawn
    With lib'ral use of butter
    he'll forgive me in the morn.
    For here it's win, or pack it in,
    you're either champ or chump:
    Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth,
    if kin are there to pump.
    And no-one knows, and so it goes,
    all night and into day:
    Pumpkin, Mrs. Farnsworth!
    (In fact, just leave the tray.)