Now I can return my defective ant

(unrecorded, unfinished)

Lyrics: brni

Arrangement: Charlie & brni (in progress)

Album: Bad Coelacanth

[Erik Idle]
Hello Sir, pray do you see
the Gentleman who not half an hour ago
within the walls of this fine Establishment
did sell this very ant to me
This ant, you see, has got five legs
and though he seems to get about just fine
the box clearly indicates that ants have six
to compensate for having no spine
five legs, you see, are clearly inferior
and besides, i can see his interior
an ant with an intact exoskeleton
would for my purposes be highly superior
So pray, Sir, do you see
the Gentleman who sold to me
this very very very very very very
defective ant?
[clerk]
sorry, squire, he's left for the day.
[long pregnant pause]
[Eric Idle]
Then, Sir, could you be of help
I want to return my defective ant
and exchange him for another
that is whole in spirit mind and body
[clerk]
sorry, squire, defective ant returns
go past the volvox and the burpo
through the slunch appraisal area
and you'll come to ant returns
[music screaches to a halt]
[Eric Idle - speaking]
oh, bother.